I have a confession to make: the reason I haven’t been blogging nearly as much as I used doesn’t actually have all that much to do with time constraints, although graduate school definitely did contribute to the issue. I haven’t been in graduate classes in 11 months, and yet I still haven’t been blogging all that much.
No, the reason is much simpler: I have spent too much time staring at blank pages and simply walking away from the computer.
I have been blogging for over six years. I love talking about education. I love sharing what I do and why I do it. I have been fortunate to have so many amazing experiences over the years, whether it was attending conferences and workshops, presenting to colleagues, leading professional development, reading phenomenal books, collaborating with other teachers and, of course, simply teaching in the classroom every day.
And yet I’ve been in a slump all year long that I just don’t seem to be able to break out of. I feel like so many of the things that we are doing in my classroom are things I have already blogged about. I have a constant fear that my blog has become stale and uninteresting. After all this time, I still don’t know who actually reads these posts. I certainly don’t get that many views and I get even fewer comments.
Of course, I don’t blog for the page views or the comments. In fact, I blog for myself: to give myself an outlet for reflecting on my professional practice and to keep a record of positive events in the classroom. But somehow I find myself opening a new blog post page and then… nothing.
Just a blank page.
So what should I do? What do I write about when I have nothing to write about? What I have been doing is walking away, thinking I might have something else to write about later. But, clearly, that hasn’t been happening. That’s how it has been a couple of days since my last post.
So today I decided a new strategy. I was staring at a blank page for a few minutes and then I just started writing. I wasn’t worried about the topic, nor was I worried about what others might think about my stream-of-consciousness blogging. Instead, I just started typing.
And this is what happened. Four hundred words later and I haven’t really said anything about my classroom or my day, but I have written about what I do when I find myself staring at a blank page.
I feel like I have heard that advice before.
Oh, that’s right, I have.
When my students tell me they don’t know what to write about them, I tell them to not worry about it and just start writing. The most important audience we ever write for is ourselves. Then we eventually think that someone else might want to read what we wrote. I suppose it is time I start taking my own advice. Instead of thinking, “I have nothing to write about that others want to read,” I need to start thinking, “I need to just start writing and let the ideas flow together.”
The funny thing is that, about 200 words ago, I realised that there were things I could write about regarding my classroom and my day, but now that I have committed nearly 600 words to this topic of dealing with writer’s block, I feel like it would be silly to delete it all to write about something completely different. Instead, I will save the idea for Monday.
What do you do when you run into writer’s block?
On October 14, 2010, I started a new blog which I somewhat randomly called “Adventures in Substituting.” It was started because some of my friends had no idea what a substitute teacher actually did, even though all of them had experienced having a substitute for at least one teacher at least once in their school experiences. (The blog then became “Adventures in Teaching Fourth” when I got hired to work at Wiley.)
That first blog post was entitled Why I Teach, which was based on a paper/short essay I wrote for an early college class. While you can click on the link to read the entire post, here is an excerpt that still rings as true today as it did 2,365 days ago when I first published it online:
Rainer Maria Rilke, an author of the early 1900s, published a series of letters he wrote to Franz Kappus, an aspiring poet who wanted Rilke’s advice and approval of his work. The work is aptly and simply entitled, “Letters To A Young Poet.” In the very beginning, Rilke suggests to his young friend that the only way to know if he [Kappus] would know if he was to be a poet or not would be to examine himself in the middle of the night and see if there is anything else he can think of doing other than writing poetry.
Although Rilke’s advice was offered in the context of writing, I have found that it has many applications in my own vocational goals. I have often asked myself, “What do I want to do with my life?” When I wake up in the morning, I know that answer. I want to teach. I cannot think of doing anything else with my life. A student once asked me why I wasn’t a lawyer, or a doctor. I responded, “Because I am a teacher.” It seemed self-evident to me that that was what I would be, because it is what I was (and still am today).
Teaching is so much more than presenting information from a textbook. It is also more than creating a classroom that is open to diversity, although these are both important aspects of it. The best descriptions of teaching I know comes from a movie I saw some time ago: “A teacher has two jobs. To fill young minds with knowledge, yes. But also to act as a compass to give those minds direction.” The true teacher is one who guides students to a personal, life-long quest for knowledge, so that some day the student can, as Elbert Hubbard once observed, “get along without his teacher.” To “get along” is to be able to learn, to appreciate, and to understand the changing world in which we live, and it is my hope to be a part of that process.
That is why I teach.
In the nearly six and a half years since then, I have blogged about my experiences teaching at all grade levels and in dozens of schools across East Central Illinois as a substitute teacher, about my experiences as a fourth grade teacher for almost six of those years (my substituting career actually started two years before I started blogging), things I have learned at conferences and workshops, books I have read, and memoirs and introspectives related to my career, my vocation, my calling, my passion. I have tried to keep each post unique but there have certainly been times when I wrote about something and then a year later wrote about it again.
Each experience has been valuable and important in its own unique way. I know that my blogging frequency has decreased rapidly over the past two years. I used to blog every day I worked (as a substitute), and then I blogged every school day (plus some extra). My frequency started to decrease during grad school when, instead of taking time to write about my reflections for the day, I would use the time after work and before class to read assignments, write assignments, or work on projects. I felt like I was in a rut this year, with my blogging, and so I gave myself permission to not write every day, which turned into sometimes a month or more without a post.
But I have never stopped reflecting, pondering, and evaluating my day. I have never stopped worrying about my students, about my colleagues, about my district, about the public education system in general. I ask what I can do to make things better, not as a comparison to others but as an internal comparison. I ask myself the same three questions I frequently ask my students: what worked well? what didn’t? what can I do better next time?
And now, at the conclusion of my 1000th blog post about my adventures in teaching, my answer to Rifka’s question is still the same: I am a teacher because there is nothing else I can ever imagine myself doing, whether that teaching is of 23 fourth graders in a classroom or 40 adults in a building. It is what I do because it is what I am.
Many years ago, my wife and I found ourselves without a car. During that time, I rode my bike everywhere I could as often as I could. After nearly passing out from heat exhaustion on a day when the heat index was over 90° F (32° C), I decided that was my upper limit for biking. As winter came, I also discovered that biking when the wind chill was below 20° F (-6° C) was equally a bad idea! On those days, I was fortunate to have coworkers who were kind enough to give me a ride to work. For the most part, though, as long as it wasn’t too hot, too cold, or raining, I was on my bike.
Even after we got a new (to us) car, I continued to bike as often as possible. Cycling was a great form of exercise, it saved a lot of money on automobile costs, it helped energise me in the morning, and it was fun. My students also recognised me when they saw me biking, so they knew that I was setting a good example for the physical activity that we are frequently telling students they all ought to be getting! Then I started graduate school. I still rode my bike a few times, but I quickly realised that biking home in the dark was not particularly safe, even with reflective gear and lights. So I started driving my car again.
I had wanted to get back into the (bicycle) saddle again this year, but it seemed like every day it was too hot, too cold, too wet, or too foggy, and so I was driving my car all the time. In fact, I think I rode my bike once all of the first semester and, until today, not once since then.
But I got back into the saddle again today. It wasn’t too cold, it wasn’t raining or foggy, and I knew I needed to stop making excuses. I woke up earlier than usual, got myself ready, and hopped on my bike, expecting to get to work in about 30 minutes, which is about what I used to average.
I forgot to take into account two important things: one, it has been months since I last rode my bike and two, it was a windy morning. It took me about 40 minutes to get to work, which may not seem like much, but it did mean that I didn’t give myself nearly as much time to get settled in at the start of the day.
All that being said, I am glad I am back on my bike. Graduate school was great for my mind but not so kind to my waistline. I am hoping that cycling 9-10 miles every day will bring back all of those positive outcomes that I saw back when I was biking more regularly. In the meantime, I think I ought to get up about 15 minutes earlier to give myself just a little bit more time in the morning!
One of the great benefits of working in Urbana is having a wonderful relationship with the major universities near us, specifically the University of Illinois (right here in Urbana and Champaign), Illinois State University (about 45 minutes northwest of us), and Eastern Illinois University (about 45 minutes south of us). I have been able to have guests from the universities come to my classroom for a variety of reasons, but one of the best is for student teachers to do their placements in my classroom.
We had two student teachers in our classroom last semester, Ms. N and Mr. L. They were with us throughout the semester, although they were only in the room for early field experience. This means that, instead of being in the classroom all day every day, they came in for mornings or afternoons twice a week. My class loved having them here and I greatly appreciated their support! From the very beginning, they jumped in and got to know the students and willingly worked with small groups. They have both moved on to new placements, but I am confident that they will be fantastic additions to any building’s teaching staff!
This semester I will actually have several student teachers in my room. Mr G is from Eastern Illinois University and will be with us all day every day for sixteen weeks. Today was his first day and he spent most of the morning observing the organised chaos that is my classroom. In the afternoon, though, he jumped right in to working with students as they reviewed math from last semester.
Additionally, I will be sharing a team of five students teachers from U of I with the other fourth grade teacher and the reading interventionist who works with our classes. We haven’t met them yet, so I am not sure what their schedules will be, but I am super excited to welcome them to my classroom as well!